Introduction
purpose of this blog:
I
have been struggling with depression for over a year now, but perhaps
much longer than that. It's been a really odd and tiring experience. But surely, even though my torso and legs are made of
mud, and I am like a burning candle, no longer am I melting away.
intent:
Does
it make sense to build a home if I lose myself in the process? This
needs to change. I need to stop negating myself. I feel like
something is missing within me, and there is still so much I don’t
understand.
I
will edit, and re-edit, this about page, until it is no more.
about:
This is the part I've written again and again, and I've never seemed to become satisfied with one definitive version. So this is the most recent one, as of March 2022.
I became tired of life in 2016, mostly due to the first part of an existential crisis which subsided after a few months, but with which I would have to deal again years later. Although music and art have always been
foundational in understanding who I am, both in good and bad times, I've
had too many interests which also require my attention and an outlet every now and then, and these years have been a search to find the right avenue for them.
In the years between then and now, I've dabbled and toyed with numerous ideas, I've been really close at attempting suicide a few times, but always found the will to go forward. One of the things I hate most is sounding dramatic, but I really don't have any other way of telling what happened. Maybe I'll use poetry, music, environment design, programming, or something else to better express what I mean, but for now I want to keep this straightforward. This is nothing more than a sporadic passion project. This isn't anything other than me attempting to get out of my head (while occasionally listening to noise music in the background). This is little more than a blog to test out new ideas and welcome people who might be interested in the work I do.
All comments and criticisms are welcome. Special shout-out to coldbacon for showing me what a weird-ass pseudo-intellectual blog really can be.
please don’t stop spinning, or we will all die:
(If the track below isn't working, you can go to this link.)
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